How do you get someone who should know they are the most important in your life to think they might be one of the least important?
The answer is simple:
Forget to tell them that they are the most important on the one day of the year when they are definitely supposed to feel like they are the most important.
This is something I have been successful at now 3 times in a row. I have forgotten to tell the most important people in my life Happy Birthday on the day of their birthday. Mom, Dara, Dylan… I don’t even know how to begin to apologize. I didn’t remember to remember when it counted, even if I reminded myself for weeks even up to the day before what the day was.
I am so frustrated, annoyed, and pissed off at myself for this huge flaw and problematic area of my life. Remembering one simple day should be such an easy thing. I am mad and deeply hurt because of the pain I have caused all of you. I am angry because this reflects so negatively on who I am; and I am furious that I have been so unsuccessful in correcting this problem of mine.
Relationships are the driving force of my life (even my career choice), and time after time I fail to acknowledge the most valuable and meaningful relationships when they need to be. At this point, I have to beg for your forgiveness. In my own heart it will be impossible for me to forgive myself for such a thing unless I have first been forgiven by those I have hurt. Even then, it is obvious that I haven’t fully forgiven myself for when this happened with Mom.
I don’t even know what else to say.
I am so sorry. I love you.